Welcome to WHAT IF? a new series of suggestions should Corrie’s scriptwriters run short of dramatic ideas.
The first suggestion focuses on Pat Phelan’s next cunning plan. His new victims could easily be Noris Cole, Mary Cole, Rita Tanner and the Kabin. Whenever Mr. P’s around, Corrie shouldn’t sleep peacefully
Ready for more? Well here you go then…
First off the deadly Phelan seduces poor old Norris into believing his advice is valuable. He carts him off willingly to peruse the layout of his current renovation project – you know the basement of the derelict house where he has been hiding Andy Carver hostage for months.
Norris, thrilled with his new role of advisor to an evil builder embarks upon a well thought out soliloquy on how Phelan can capitalise on his exciting new renovation project.
Patrick decides to capitalise even quicker than Norris can shake his sweeping brush at street litter. He whacks Norris across the head and chains him up in the same dungeon as hapless Andy.
Are you still with me?
Great, let’s move on.
Phelan then leaves it a week and makes a move on Rita, who, despite being in the throes of losing her marbles, has actually noticed that Norris has gone missing. Now, Mary Cole, the woman that Norris has recently married so she can enter a competition for married couples, has also gone missing. Everybody reckons they’ve slipped off on an extended honeymoon together.
Yes, the more astute readers will have guessed that she’s now the third inmate in Phelan’s sinister dungeon. He needs to start extending pretty soon.
Are you really still with me? It’s just that I’m finding it difficult to keep up and I’m writing it.
Anyway, to cut a long continuing story short, Phelan slowly but surely, under duress, gets Norris to sign over his ownership of the Kabin to him, whilst hapless Andy plays a marathon game of chess-whilst-chained-to-a-radiator with Prairie Mary.
Back at the Kabin, Phelan works hard at sending the unstable Rita, even more unstable, which doesn’t prove too difficult, given that she’s got more than a head start. As you know she’s still setting the table each night for her husband Len, and he’s been dead since 1983.
Phelan persuades her it would be a good idea to let him move into the Kabin to help, and there begins a long and winding quest whereby Phelan assumes full control of all things postal together with a jar or two of mix ‘n match sweeties.
You couldn’t make it up…I just did, but it’s only a WHAT IF? and unlikely to happen.
You see I’m not really a story writer – I just like having fun…
Categories: CORRIE WHAT IFs?